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A Close Shave

Tom PattonI was standing in the line at Publix yesterday (I almost wrote “The Publix”, which would have been a total throwback to my California days), and I looked at a package of 4 blades for the Gillette Fusion 5-bladed razor I own.

The Package was $37.

I am not making that up.

Now, in fairness, it said each blade will last 3 months, so the package of blades will possibly last a year, and maybe almost $40 (by the time you add tax) for a years worth of shaving isn’t too bad.

But seriously… c'mon man!

In these difficult economic times, I and millions of others are shopping for every bargain, pinching every penny, scraping the bottom of every barrel -- choose your metaphor.

Standing there in the impulse buy section of the store, I just couldn’t see adding $40 to my grocery bill for the privilege of having a smooth face.

I’ve had a beard before. A big, full, Grizzly Adams style beard. It truthfully didn’t look that bad on me, but that was back before I started to go grey. Now, a big, full beard would make me look old, and the scruffy “didn’t shave today” look just makes me appear older. So I’ll be shaving.

I’m done with facial hair.

I know others like it, but it’s not for me.

But why are the blades so bloody expensive? I mean really, how much can it cost for a scrap of plastic and a few strips of metal stamped together by the millions? The margin on razor blades has to be huge, and it’s just as bad (or maybe worse) for women’s hair removal products. Forget Big Oil, or Big Pharma. Let’s talk about Big Grooming.

I’d be all for a product I could put on my face, let it sit there a while, and never have to shave again... and that’s the truth.

It’s one of those things that has to be done, but you’d think with all the advances in medical science, they could come up with something that could discourage hair growth without burning your face off. I’d love to be freed from the tyranny of the razor, and Gillette.

But then, they wouldn’t be able to collect the equivalent of a week's gas money for razors from everybody who shaves. I’m sure somewhere someone has created the magic cream, and he or she is rotting away in some dank Gillette dungeon, the formula never to be seen by humans.

So eventually, I’m going to have to shell out nearly $40 for razor blades. Because I don’t want to look old.

Vanity, thy name is Middle-Aged Man.

1 Responses »

  1. Even at Costco, Fusions cost about $47 for a very few razors. Go back to the double blade. No one needs 4 blades. They feel good but they cut the same amount of hair. I refuse to pay the enormous amounts. I buy the cheapo double blades and use them until they hurt. I can use the savings for travel and entertainment. Vote with your money. Maybe then, Gillette will get the picture. It is not Publix, Winn Dixie or our other favorite stores.

    As one of the greatest advertisers in the world said, "GIVE THEM THE RAZOR, AND SELL THEM BLADES FOREVER!"