Hollywood’s 2009 Tacky Taste Awards
Happy Thanksgiving to one and all, and a big thank you to readers of this column who submitted candidates for this year's Tacky Taste Awards. From lofty heights to lowlifes, cheesy reality TV stars to the Nobel Prize Committee — 2009 marks possibly the most wide-ranging menu of celebrity bad taste we've seen in the 32-year history of this contest! So let's get to it:
1. Jon & Kate Gosselin. The couple who rose to fame as the parents of cute twins and sextuplets — and gained infamy with their bitter split, their affairs, their ugly accusations, oversized egos, etc. — were deemed tackiest by a clear majority. As longtime reader B.B. Richmond of Naples, Fla., put it: "There could not be a Tacky Taste Award without mentioning Jon and Kate, the All-American loonies. Where did Jon and Kate get the 'great' idea to pimp out their kids? ACORN? I can envision ACORN advising them. 'Don't call it "child abuse," call it a "Reality TV Show."' Hopefully the kids will earn enough money to pay for the best mental help money can buy." Other readers echoed her sentiments: "The Gosselins should win in tandem," said Carma, adding, "It's like they had a tacky-thon to see who could embarrass themselves more. At least Jon shows some regret for his behavior, she never apologizes for being a 'B' from hell!" Diana wrote: "Kate Gosselin, for so very many things, but mostly for going on national TV and crying about how she can't afford to feed her children in one breath, then in the next bragging about the diamond and 'mother of pearl' she's going to buy (she clearly does not know what mother of pearl is)."
2. Joe Jackson. "Joe Jackson is your walking definition of tackiness. What could be tackier than trying to hype his new record label on the red carpet of an awards show right after Michael's death?" asked Greg B. of Canoga Park, Calif. Savannah wrote that Jackson's attitude seems to be: "Just because everyone knows I abused Michael doesn't mean I'm not gonna contest the will!"
3. "Mr. Bad Attitude Kanye West, for spoiling Taylor Swift's award moment," as reader Margo P. put it, speaking of West jumping onstage and interrupting Swift's acceptance speech to say that Beyonce deserved the award. And from Jed: "Kanye West deserves a big a— kicking for his VMA stunt."
4. Dethroned Miss California USA Carrie Prejean. From Jeff: "Carrie Prejean takes the cake! Skanky hypocrite with her holier than thou attitude, her fake boobs and her sex tape of her masturbating. Now the religious right is cutting ties with her. No one else comes close to this tackiness." Morgan P. of Cleveland found the humor: "What a hoot! She's ready to walk off Larry King's show over 'inappropriate' questions? Larry King, the scary hard-hitting inquisitor."
5. David Letterman. "Ughhhh," wrote Judy O. "I can't watch him anymore, thinking of him doing the dirty old man number with his female staff." "Never liked his mean humor, so I'm glad he's now getting some turn-about from other comics," said M.M.
6. Miley Cyrus and her daddy, Billy Ray: "Look at her tacky clothes. She's turning up the skank quotient!" wrote D. Lewis of New York. "Last year it was the bedroom magazine pic, this year pole dancing on the Teen Choice Awards" — Carol. "... And then come the comments from her father that it's really okay, people are reading things into that aren't there. Riiiiight" — J. Horwitz, Newark, N.J.
7. Levi Johnston, the spotlight-loving father of Sarah Palin's grandson, and ex-boyfriend of Bristol Palin: From Patty W.: "Levi Johnston deserves to be named Tackiest. Also Vanity Fair and Playgirl and all the media rushing to help him embarrass Sarah Palin for fun and profit."
8. The Roman Polanski defenders. Contributor B.B. Richmond again summed up the feelings of others who expressed disgust toward those advocating in favor of director Roman Polanski's release, more than three decades after being charged with rape and pleading guilty to unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor. "It was treated like a 'minor infraction' by Hollywood beacons of morality Martin Scorsese, Woody Allen, David Lynch, Jonathan Demme and Pedro Almodovar who signed a petition to demand Polanski's release from jail on a morals crime. Earth to those lights, so lofty that they are out of touch: I will tell you the same thing that Sister Mary Ann taught in fifth grade, 'Show me your friends and I will tell you what you are.'"
9. Perez Hilton. The self-proclaimed most hated Hollywood blogger on the Internet drew some hate from our readers, too, for several of his exploits this year, including his feud with the Black Eyed Peas' Will.i.am. "I am voting for Perez Hilton (who's famous for what again?) for saying he'd been attacked by Will.i.am when it was clearly his manager," wrote Isaac.
10. Michael Lohan: Lindsay's father got Tacky Awards attention for releasing embarrassing and damning tapes about his troubled daughter. "This man has no conscience." — L. Ramirez, Sherman Oaks, Calif.
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS go to Sammy Sosa for "looking whiter and brighter" — M.P; Sarah Palin for reasons including "her endless whining" — Tracey W.; Glenn Beck, for "fear-mongering that goes beyond tacky" — D.L.; and the Nobel Prize Committee, for giving President Obama the Nobel Peace Prize "for doing nothing. It sort of cheapens the prize they gave Yasser Arafat, don't you think?" — B.R.
That's it for this year. From now on, may all your turkeys be tasty ones.
To find out more about Marilyn Beck and Stacy Jenel Smith and read their past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
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